Why I Refuse to Have Back to School Mom Guilt

Oh the back to school hustle and bustle is in full effect. From the back to school shopping, to the first day of school social media photos, excitement is definitely in the air. Now, we all have seen those awesome Pinterest boards with the back to school chalkboards that have intricate designs and facts to mark the milestone. Man, those are impressive! To all the parents that make this happen every year, hats off to you!

When my oldest first started preschool I definitely did the chalkboard thing. It was so fun to make and very time consuming but so worth it. He stood by this chalk board that was almost taller than him and we snapped like a thousand photos. He even posed with his best friend at the time, Pikachu! It was a day to remember.

Then came the diagnosis. The therapy, the IEP meetings, the interventions, the care binders and a number of other things that I had to add to my “workload” as a momma, because let’s be honest if we don’t, who will. It is not something we were “made to do” but something we had to do for our babies. It is something we just learned as we went. Parenting children with special needs is a job unlike anything else, and at the same time is such a rewarding experience.

Now, throw in a full time job. I am an Assistant Principal in South Central Los Angeles and my commute can range from 45 minutes to 2 hours depending on the road conditions. Much of my week is spent at work or commuting to and from work, so I miss much of my kiddos daily routine. The “back to school” routine and the classic back to school photo seemed to take the back burner this school year. And I didn’t kill myself trying to get to a Back to School night that took place at 1 in the afternoon on a Tuesday. The old me would have had a classic case of mom guilt for missing these things but this year I refuse to allow this and here is why:

Time is precious

The little time I do have with my boys is spent enjoying them and loving them. Asking them how their day was and reading books before bed. My time is not spent combing their hair and fighting with them to sit still for a photo, especially one which may cause a melt down if not done at the right time of day.

Extended School Year: Due to being in an SDC, special day class, my guys are pretty much in school all year and have the same teachers 2-3 years in a row. On a side note the fact that they have the same teachers means my husband and I could teach the back to school night with our eyes closed! Haha! The excitement of a new year for my boys and for me really doesn’t take place on the same level as a kiddo in the general education setting. This is not to say that we aren’t excited for the boys and hype up the first day of school, it just means we capture the moments less often.

We take SO many photos

Throughout the course of the year I take a bazillion photos of my kids that we can use to track their growth. It can be challenging to stage a photo, but candids, my kids got that down!

Constant Communication

My kids having IEP’s, Individual Education Plans, I find myself communicating with their teachers almost weekly. There aren’t many new things coming up on a yearly basis because we communicate via email, text, in person and extensively during our IEP season.

With all of this in mind and with the support of my village, this year I refuse to let mom guilt consume me for not taking part in all the “normal” back to school festivities. Honestly, my husband and I are so exhausted by the end of the day we have stopped trying to be “normal” in any sense of the word. What is normal anyway?

So for all the parents out there who have "the guilt" and feel like you are doing your kiddos a disservice because you don’t have that sacred back to school photo, I am here to tell you, you are not alone and that it doesn’t make you a bad parent. You are doing your very best each and everyday to love and nurture your little ones. You are amazing. You are loved. You ARE ENOUGH.